Master's Words

Master's Words

Monday, 27 June 2016

Power play, obedience and the sense of self for the submissive


In society, we are dependent on the systems which are in place and which sustain our lives - systems which give order to our lives. we are conditioned  and taught from an early age to be obedient to authority, be it a teacher, police officer or judge.

When we are faced with authority we have a tendency to yield easier due to conditioning. we accept we are part of a hierarchy and obedience is present within our social structures.
  
Throughout time, obedience and power plays have existed. Take the example of a soldier who has surrendered to the governing authority who partakes in certain actions, ( which they may not have taken alone ) - when questioned as to why they carried out certain tasks, the reply will be; "I was ordered to".

By submitting to authority there is a sense of liberation, a freeing from responsibility. the culpability lies with the one in authority.

Looking at My submissives, I often see the same euphoric liberation. Those who come to me as submissives do not do so because they are weak, lack self worth or have low self esteem. on the contrary, they are usually, if not always, competitive, assertive, confident and power hungry in their everyday lives.

They submit because it is invigorating, freeing and liberating. Submitting makes them feel unchained from the consequences of their actions - engaging in behaviour which would normally be unthinkable when acting alone within their 'vanilla' lives becomes excusable and justifiable when acting under orders.

Submission in BDSM is intoxicatingly blinding - with obedience comes exhilarating freedom from consequences. Obedience to the authority is determined within a scene by the legitimacy of the authority figure. Mistresses are aided in this legitimacy with the aid of 'the scene' itself - whips, chains, collars, dungeon equipment and the Mistress / Dominatrix 'uniform'. The visual perception supports the submissives sense of helplessness, to yield to controlling  authority. This perception of the authority figure increases the submissives feeling of dependency and asserts the power of the Mistress over them.

Before the start of a session, I will meet and greet My submissives outside of the 'play' area. At this very moment, we are two ordinary people - power and authority are irrelevant. As soon as a sessions begins and the submissive enters the 'play' area, there is a shift in perception. Aided by the aura and contents of the dungeon, the psychological effect on the submissive is rapid and intense. there is a clear behavioural change in the submissive - a nervousness, an eagerness to please and a desperation to maintain my favour.

The longer a session  or the more sessions a submissive attends, there develops a level of  habituation - they become compliant and familiar to their role as a submissive. feelings of hopelessness and being controlled become natural and accepted. the submissive feels freed from decision making process and the responsibility of the consequences. They are free to act and partake in activities they would never normally participate in.

Post session discussions are essential. 

The impact of 'power play' can overpoweringly impact a submissives sense of self (sub-drop). At its most basic component, sub drop is the conflict between the sense of self and what a person feels they ought to be. (Our ideal self is the person we want to be. Our ought self is our understanding of what others want us to be - what we ought to be and do.) Sub drop happens when the submissive faces a cognitive dissonance (the excessive mental stress and discomfort experienced by an individual who holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values at the same time or is confronted by new information that conflicts with existing beliefs, ideas, or values ) over their actions and experiences during the session. A negative reaction is when the submissive faces the fact that they willingly participated in something they would not normally have participated in, that they allowed themselves to be degraded, humiliated, bound, restrained and tortured - events which are conflicting with their sense of self. Their sense of self is challenged when it doesn't match up with who they think they ought to be. this can be very depressing and frightening.  It is essential to allow the submissive to re integrate within their self and break the phase of role play- and this is best done post session.

Discussing the session, the activities, the role play allows both parties to break the scene and share feelings, desires sand once again become two ordinary people.






Master Strokes / Pro BDSM & Lifestyle Dom
master-strokes@live.co.uk / 0743 22 22 347

Friday, 24 June 2016

HUMOUR: THINGS A #SUBMISSIVE SHOULD NEVER DO

1. Pushing limits does not mean making Master so angry that the vein above His right eye throbs.

2. "Quit it!" "OW, Damnit!" "I’m hiding that toy when You go to work tomorrow" and cursing a blue streak are not safe words.

3. "Oh my God, where did you get those. They are gorgeous!!!" is not considered boot worship.

4. "Ya want fries with that?" "Want me to drink it for You too?" are not appropriate remarks when Master gives you an elaborate drink order.

5. Flipping your Master off while your hands are cuffed behind your back is a bad idea. Owners have a way of knowing these things.

6. Putting lube, goop, superglue, ink or any other substance that will sully the ________ of Master on His toys while setting up for a session is not a good idea.

7. Kicking the toy you hate far under the bed is futile. Master will only secure your wrist cuffs to your ankle cuffs and make you crawl for it....repeatedly.

8. "Bite me." is NEVER an intelligent response to a command.

#BDSM as a way to abuse.

"Within this lifestyle there are unfortunately many dangers, there are people out there using the BDSM lifestyle as a way to abuse or use individuals under an umbrella of acceptance. Within each situation there are warning signs that we see, unfortunately sometimes we do not see these warning signs until it is too late. There are many people that say they are a Dominant are not, instead they are users, abusers, predators, wannabees, bullies, and manipulators. This article is designed to help people understand what a warning sign or red flag is, and hopefully prevent someone from getting hurt.

Some people think that just because they have read all the books and watched all the movies that they are instant Dominants; Instant Dominant…Just Add Water, and Shake Well. Just because he or she has a few floggers doesn't mean they know how to use them or that they are a Dominant of any form. Just because someone orders you around or attempts to control your life doesn't mean they are a Dominant. Being a Dominant is a menagerie of infinite strengths and weaknesses combined together with all the normal human mediocrities. It takes a lifetime of learning and growing to be a Dominant, and those that believe otherwise may not have a true grasp of the concept. Even as one is able to claim the title of Dominant, Master, Mistress, Lord, or Lady, God or Goddess, one is still learning, the learning is a never ending road that allows us to travel into the exciting and new dimensions of this adventure called BDSM.

As a Dominant myself I have come to understand that every Dominant does things in a different manner, and that just because what they do is different from what I do, it doesn't make what they do wrong, it just makes it different. However there is a difference between just being different and being dangerous.

If someone submits to you because they fear you, then you are a bully not a Dominant.

 If someone submits to you because you give him or her expensive presents then you are a pimp not a Dominant.

 If someone submits to you because you threaten to leave or abandon him or her if they refuse then you are a manipulator, not a Dominant.

 If someone submits to you because you wont leave him or her alone if they don\'t then you are a predator not a Dominant.

 If someone submits to you because you will beat him or her if they don\'t then you are an abuser not a Dominant.


There are far too many individuals out there in today\'s society that manipulate, abuse, use, and lie to others in an effort to gain their service and respect."


Wednesday, 4 November 2015

Staying safe on the first meeting

For a first contact the following guidelines are what many experienced people involved in epe/bdsm suggest. Most are common sense - but that's exactly the first thing some people seem to lose when they're about to begin an erotic power exchange encounter.

  If you respond to a personal ad, try writing or phoning a couple of times first and use a post office box when corresponding. You don't want strange people ringing your doorbell unexpectedly.

  When you intend to meet somebody in person who you've met on the Net or through a personal ad, phone chat box or dateline, make sure you know something verifiable about him or her.

Monday, 2 November 2015

Written tasks for a #submissive

What is a Task or assignment?

Tasks or assignments should always have a purpose - to help improve a submissive in a particular way.

This list of six general purposes of a given assignments posted by |X|C|BDSM|, originally taken from a handout at Beyond Leather in Ft. Lauderdale, FL in April of 2013.


For their Growth / Education

  • Reading List
  • Cultural Exposure, such as going to a play or museum
  • Doing something creative, like writing a story or drawing a picture
  • Taking a class or learning a new skill